Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
