Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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