sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
