we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
