Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
