the day after is always just damage control
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
