and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
