I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
