I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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