Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
