i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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