marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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