Its about making memories worth repressing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
