Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
