apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
