Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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