Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
