we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
