Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Randomize
