The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize