worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
