just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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