roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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