Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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