just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
