And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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