There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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