we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
