i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
