hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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