I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
