There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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