i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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