I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
