is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
