Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
