Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
