how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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