Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
