life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
