and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
