Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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