I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
