You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
