I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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