I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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