Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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