Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
