Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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