hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
