she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think your dad took our porno
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
