Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
